"Cocaine is God's way of saying you make too much money."

"Virtue is its own reward. There's a pleasure in doing good which sufficiently pays itself."

"A novel is a piece of prose of a certain length with something wrong with it."

"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."

"A statesman is a successful politician who is dead."

"Continually strive to improve yourself."

"I'd rather be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother."

"The only people who seem to have nothing to do with the education of the children are the parents."

"Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game. You want us to pay income taxes, too?"

"If we believe we have no control, we acquiesce our real power, become subject to the decisions of others, and become like a leaf floating helplessly down a current of other people's decisions."

"Give what you have. To some it may be better than you dare think."

"I am an invisible man. No, I am not a spook like those who haunted Edgar Allan Poe; nor am I one of your Hollywood-movie ectoplasms. I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me."