"Progress might have been all right once, but it went on too long."

"Nietsche is Pietsche.'"

"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold."

"Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long."

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them."

"Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -Did you ever try buying them without money?"

"A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures."

"Being another character is more interesting than being yourself."

"Progress always involves risk; you can't steal second base and keep your foot on first base."

"No pessimest ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an unchartered land or opened a new heaven to the human spirit."

"After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed."

"Society, my dear, is like salt water, good to swim in but hard to swallow."